Pema Chodron

"Trungpa Rinpoche is famous for a quote where he said, 'The job of the spiritual friend is to insult you. And if you ask why that's so, it's because in order to become a completely loving person, a flexible person you have to see where you're hookable.

"You have to see where your shempa arises so that you can work with it. So, in the Vijiana tradition there's actually a whole practice and teaching that you can do which is called 'heightened neurosis' where you actually..., the situation is created by certain practices you do where your neurosis gets heightened to you. And the idea is if you don't see it, if you don't first see where you're hookable and where you get provoked, with a complete honesty and directness without guilt but just a straight look at where you get stuck..."