Dubya

"Hello America. It's me, your president, your commander-in-chief of the world. And I'm here in my ranch here in Crawford Texas just to take a little r & r, ya know, relax.

I'm growin' out my soul patch, playin' a little Frisbie golf with Condie Rice and Dick Cheney. Having a good time, but still keepin' my eye on the ball.

"And there is an issue that has come to my attention. The issues of the so called 'global warmings' that are happening on the planet.

For centuries the rays of the sun have warmed the surface of the Earth's crust. And, uh, apparently those rays are intensifying in such a way that it's increasing lava flows. And ah.

"CUT."

"I'm not gonna lie to ya. I don't know what the hell I'm talkin' about..."