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Contributed by J. R. Ransom
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 Allison Moorer Allison Moorer is a Grammy-nominated American alternative country singer and the younger sister of Shelby Lynne. She signed to MCA Nashville in 1998 and made her debut on the U.S. Billboard country charts with the release of her debut single "A Soft Place To Fall", which reached #73 on the charts.
Since the release of her debut album Alabama Song, she released seven albums and eleven singles, five of which reached positions on the Billboard Hot Country Songs chart, most notably her duet with Kid Rock, which reached #21. |
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Contributed by J. R. Ransom
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 Steve Earle "My baby sparkle and shine, Sparkle and shine, Sparkle and shine, My baby sparkle and shine, And everyone knows she’s fine.
She blesses all that she sees, A toss of her hair and a kiss in the breeze, But she don’t love no one but me, And I can’t believe she’s mine
Shimmering she moves, Sunlight all around her, Even when she’s blue, Silver clouds surround her
My baby sparkle and shine, Sparkle and shine, Sparkle and shine, My baby sparkle and shine, And I can’t believe she’s mine..." |
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Contributed by J. R. Ransom
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 Walking on Water "The first step, I didn't think it was gonna happen. Like I expected him to fall right in. And then he did it and it was just step after step."
"I don't know what to say. I was in the pool and I was just watching it. It was kind of shocking ya know..."
"He walked on water!
"He just started walking across and I was just like no there's got to be something he's walking on but no, not at all, I swam right underneath him..." |
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Contributed by J. R. Ransom
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 How Huge? "Well, first I take into account a man's life experiences, his trials, his tribulations, his hard fought achievements, and then based on this information, I'm able to accurately calculate the measurements of his scrotum."
"So, what you're saying is that without actually examining them, you can tell me exactly how large my testicles are."
Oh, sure. But I'm going to have to ask you a few questions..." |
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Contributed by J. R. Ransom
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 Dubya "Hello America. It's me, your president, your commander-in-chief of the world. And I'm here in my ranch here in Crawford Texas just to take a little r & r, ya know, relax.
I'm growin' out my soul patch, playin' a little Frisbie golf with Condie Rice and Dick Cheney. Having a good time, but still keepin' my eye on the ball.
"And there is an issue that has come to my attention. The issues of the so called 'global warmings' that are happening on the planet.
For centuries the rays of the sun have warmed the surface of the Earth's crust. And, uh, apparently those rays are intensifying in such a way that it's increasing lava flows. And ah.
"CUT."
"I'm not gonna lie to ya. I don't know what the hell I'm talkin' about..." |
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